Someone passes you lecture notes for an examination. "Oh thnk you soooo much, love ya so much!"
You are chattin with a friend online and is about to leave. "Hey i gtg, cya arnd k? Take care, love ya!"
Your friend is under alot of stress and you want to comfort him/her. "Dont worry so much k? Go get some rest, you know i love you."
Your bf/gf tells you tht he/she loves you. "I love you too."
Your mom and dad buys you a car so tht u can save all the trouble of having to go to sch by public transport. "Thank u ma, pa." Then totally forget everythin abt it and yell at them da next time they ask you to be home early.
Its weird how "I love you" comes out so blithely sometimes, when you are not able to say the three words to da 2 person tht shld mean da most to you. Why is it so hard to say it out, when you know vr well tht deep deep inside you, you do love them vr much?
Hmm i hafta admit im one of you. Perhaps it has to do with how i was brought up. To love, to honour, to respect my parents - but nv to voice or express my affections. The last goodnight kiss i gave my mom n dad must have been more than a decade ago, coz i can barely remember them now.
My dad is a vr technical man. He's da most talented designer i know. Even Uncle Lok (my architect uncle) salutes him. Vr kind, vr softhearted, but also vr 'kayu'. He nv got any of my (or my sibling's) jokes. Neither did he expressed his love for us in words. (my mom complains tht he nv told her tht he loves her b4!) But i've never doubted his silent love for us. My grandpa told me not long ago, tht my dad told him tht he has to work harder bcoz i will b goin to aussie in abt a year. And looking at da amt of stress i have from college now, he doesnt want me to get a part-time job over thr in aussie for extra pocket money. He wants to provide enough for me to go thr n just study - n nothin else. I am so touched, bcoz i know he's darn busy n tired by now. And i dont get to see him vr much at home (he's in China now on a business trip as im typin this) and if he does work harder, i will not be able to see him at all! but being brought up in a typical chinese family, i made no effort to tell him tht i love him altho i really really really do.
And my mom? She's da strongest woman i know. Corporate woman. Vr intelligent, with a firm stand on her feet. Vr stubborn, vr unpredictable. Im quite afraid of her sometimes, coz it feels like she can read thru my mind. And when she is pissed, oh gosh, u wouldnt want to know. And again, i know she loves me. She takes care of me when im sick even if she has another zillion other stuff to do in da office. But also being brought up in a typical asian family, thr is no way "i love you" would leak out at any chance. And she seldom hugged or kissed me once i was no longer a child. And i nv did tell her tht i love her too, but then again, of course i love her.
Whts wrong with us? Why cant we say the three special words to the two most special ppl on earth? Why is it so hard to do it when we have every reason in the universe to love them? WHY?
And so i tried. I told my dad tht i love him during his bday recently (Feb 26) and i got the weirdest look back in return. I told my mom tht i love her when she sent me to college when she found out tht i didnt sleep da whole night before doing assignments and i get a "WHY? SIAO AHHH?" in return. Hmmph..
Why? WHy? WHY? Is it not okay to express our affections as a family?
Hmmph.. I havent found the answer. Nor have i done anythin extraordinary since then to tell them tht i love them. Perhaps i shld add tht in my resolutions.
And P/S: My dear frens, this doesnt mean tht i dont mean it when i tell u tht i love u!