my poor baby plant is sick. it happens everytime im sad. coz i forget to water da plants when im sad. then when da plants get sick i become more sad. everythin arnd me goes wrong when im sad. gosh wht am i talkin abt? im such a murderer.

stupid ppl got nothin to do.. hafta lose myself in workin n eatin, leavin my sis bored to da max (bro play comp).. so she picked up da camera to take some pics.. so here's my pics, as a proof tht i tried doin my work (altho they were a total failure). but at least if anyone asks, i can ask them to visit my blog! haha.. btw, im NOT posing for this! nothin can b more true than this.. haih.. sien lar.. im so dead.. haha.. thts why i have nothin better to do than to conteng these pics..

*hint hint* i need a better pencil case..those spacious ones! haha..




*hint hint again!* i need $$ for da haircut as well..! haha..

hmm.. i know this is dumb.. but i guess it pass for another senseless blog post!

Im 19 now. I dont consider myself young and uncritical. Neither do i think im mature enough. Many things happened to me lately, especially this yr. I experienced things i never thought i would have, fell n climbed up to my feet again n again n again. Guess thts how life is. Here's a little somethin tht portrays my confused mind, deep deep deep down in me, when u see da 'masked' happy, crappy me walkin arnd, makin lotsa noise whrever i go.. Pretendin im really happy. I wonder if im good at actin tht out.

Have you ever touched your dreams,
and felt the simplistic joy,
of feeling them become reality,
only to abandon them,
for reasons you cannot explain?

Have you ever watched your family,
who once shared the greatest of loves,
suffer an unforgettable and unforgivable tragedy,
that will slowly, painfully, and inevitably,
tear them all apart?

If you really want to know me,
and understand the forces that compel me to move on,
then take these questions,
and take this pain,
for this who I am.

Please love me for me. And dont hate me bcoz im me.

-end-

Well! Its time again for one of our favourite pastimes - Proton bashing time. No! Not this time. Only some personal observations - maybe related to my personal taste.

Don't get me wrong. Actually I am not saying this blindly, i drive a Proton Wira and am quite satisfied with it now, as a student. However, I hope tht our (constructive) criticisms will be heeded by da top management so tht we have a Worldclass auto company tht we can b proud of. One which can compete equally with da South Korean cars (forget da Auto Giants).

Anyway, I noticed tht thr are already several Gen.2 on da road. I dunno why but all those I had seen were of only one colour - turquoise blue known commercially as Angel blue. Tht is strange considering tht Blue is one of my favourite colours. I dunno about you but somehow tht colour looks really bad on da Gen.2. We were driving down da road and my friend Jacq noted "wht a horrible colour". When we got closer we noticed tht it was a Gen.2. It may look gbetter on da Kelissa or some cute looking li'l car but on da Gen.2 it looks hmmmm wht shld I say? Haha.

So peeps, look at da Gen.2's out thr n lemme know wht ya think alrite?

-end-

Friday d 13th? Wasnt a vr bad day after all. Had to go back to college for my studio work, lotsa work to do! After a day of hard work, we've got only half a column built! Doin da rest wouldnt b vr hard tho, since we've figured out da way to do it ady.. Since tht half-column took us so long, i insisted to take a pic of it (altho da guys were laughin at how excited i am)

tadaa! half da column.. no glue whtsoever!

we had lunch in pizza hut, pyramid. it was on my fren kwokkeong, coz he suddenly got 50 bucks outta nowhr. cool eh? so generous of him.. hmm.. great time we had thr. (but i cant belif we actually played a game to see who shld finish da last piece of pizza)

(from left) all of us, except for weeliong (takin da pic) n fuikiat (toilet!!)


(from left) jo, weeliong, me!


(from left) kwokkeong, tzong wei, fu voon, nads

after tht we went to take those cute cute pics in da photo booth. 9 of us in a booth! so fun.. hehe.. like sardine! i'll try to scan it in when im free later.

then thr was melvin's new pet iguana - vee! proudly named after me! haha.. i tot it was a joke when he said he's goin to call it tht. but it turned out tht everyone tot it was a good name! he brought it to our studio today. so nads n i were playin with it. hehe! anyway i dunno if its a he or a she. melv said we'll only get to know a year later. n he feeds it kangkung! still a baby.. vr cute! dunno if it'll scare me off when it grows up. but whtever it is.. now vr cute laa!

this is da cute li'l vee!


our pic! so tiny rite? cute cute cute~~~ but its supposed to b 'gaya' for melv! but i guess he'll just hafta wait till vee-vee grows up!

so thr u go! da summary of my friday d 13th. nothin bad happened! phew~

-end-

okay. sometimes we do quarrel. but i love my siblings with all my heart. we share almost everythin - from lame jokes to gossips to online games. hmm.. i dont get it when ppl say they hate their siblings? how can anyone hate their immediate families?!!

so this is just a rondom blog post dedicated to my siblings. suddenly feel so loved to b with them, so i decided to post these pics!

my beloved sis and i!

why i love my sis:
1. she's my best friend. someone i talk to, someone i laugh and cry with, someone i care for, and someone who cares for me in return.
2. she's always on my side. whenever my grandma puts me down. whenever i have any problems. whenever i need someone to take care of me.
3. she's my shoppin-mate.
4. she's my roommate, altho thts pretty annoyin at times when she NEEDS to listen to da radio b4 she goes to bed. however, tht also means i have someone to talk to b4 i go to bed.
5. she's da kindest, purest girl tht i know. wouldnt harm anyone, n always willin to go tht extra mile to help others!

my notti bro and i!

why i love my bro:
1. he's a joker. makes doink faces n lame lame jokes to cheer everyone up.
2. he's my playmate. ps, basketball, anythin stupid.
3. he gives me updates on online games (esp. RO) n basketball games. but sometimes not vr reliable. its da thought tht counts tho!
4. he fights back with da ppl(duwan mention who!) who harms me. sometimes.
5. he's da funniest person at home. not tht he does it on purpose. its him tht is funny!

so just wanna say, love those arnd u! before its too late. im serious.

-end-

Now tht da National Fatwa Council has ruled tht SMS contests r haram (forbidden) to Muslims, does it mean tht I will stop receiving those annoying SMS contest invitations from da service provider? Hmm.. Or does it apply to Muslims only, so we'll hafta acknowledge our races when we buy a new simcard?

While I am on da topic of Haram, one friend once joked on the reason why a huge number of drug addicts in Malaysia are Malays (or Muslims). They cant take alcohol, which is haram while drugs r not. It's a racist joke and even tho I laughed at first, I realised tht a lot of people r ignorant about their health. As far as I know, anything harmful to yr body is haram n drug misuse is a lot worse than alcoholism!!!

If some Muslims r taking drugs (eg.. heroin, cocaine, ganja, amphetamines, ecstasy etc. etc.) becoz drinkin is considered Haram (n they think drugs r not), thr is only one thing I can say to them..... MORON.

Are thr really some ppl who think like that?

Btw my fren Faiz who works in a bistro told me this. He thinks he shldnt b servin da muslims alcohol bcoz theyre haram.
His boss: "Dont worry, you wont b working at the bar"
Faiz: "But I've to serve 'em alcohol rite?"
Boss: "Well, tht's okay.. bukannye u minum rite...so not haram lah"
(Huh? Er..okay!)

I like dogs. Not tht im saying tht im frolick with one. I just like them, n afterall, theyre God's creatures (n many men's best fren!). So when a Muslim fren laughs cruelly at some stray (kurap) dog by da street, I protested. He said, "ape nak kesian-kesian...anjing kan haram..biar mampus lah"
(Huh? Er..okay!)

I have this other Muslim fren Jun who has zillions of non-muslim frens. She told me this encounter she had with this shallow muslim fren of hers.
Shallow fren: "Eh, kan dia org kafir... mane boleh kawan!"
Jun: "apasal pulak?"
Shallow fren: "Sebab dia org makan babi"
(Huh?!! Er.. okay!)

Dan inilah graduan-graduan b'agama Islam di M'sia. Aku takut!! Not tht im against da religion (i believe thrs good in every religion) n im not sayin tht all Muslims are shallow (i have lotsa great Muslim frens), but sometimes these *ppl* shld re-analyze their Quran n see wht their religion really mean!

-end-

This mornin i was stuck in da traffic when i was tryin to get to college. I was starin at back of da car tht was in front of me when i saw its da driver's door open n a man's head pop out, clearin his throat. I could almost hear da Arrrrgh theeeeew in my ears. Lookin more clearly, i saw da man wiping his mouth. Eewww~ Disgustin. As i drive past tht spot i noticed this small blob of sputum on da platform near da road. (Such a grrreat start off my mornin!)

Of course, I am not aware of wht really happened. Maybe a fly flew into his mouth and he had no choice but to spit it out. But cant you please spit it on a piece of tissue?!

I guess its not so bad here in Malaysia. In India spitting in public is a real nuisance. Everywhere you go, you will see red markings on almost every corner. Those are stains caused by people who eat "sireh" (beetle nut, Areca catechu, called paan in Hindi) and spit out da juice. I guess chewing pan is one of the most popular pastimes in India. The colour comes from da mixture of da leaves, da nut, lime (carpur in Malay) and various other things which they add to it. Thank God not many people eat sireh here in Msia.

I noticed we malaysian are always famous for our gentle & kind attitude. However on d other hand, we have our insenstivities, those 'so-what' plus 'the-hell-with-you' attitude to balance things a bit. We're no angels maa... Bravo, malaysia boleh!

(Then how come i nv heard of anyone spit on snatch thieves?!?!! I bet snatch thieves will b grossed out at da thought of phlegm on their arms/face/chest/elbows blablabla. Better, announce tht you've TB as you spit into the snatch-thief's face.)

Btw if yre my fren, and would like to remain friends..plz plz plz do not do gross stuff like this!

Today: Cut and dislocated my finger while tryin to save a newborn kitten! Dunno wanna b happy or sad.

-end-

Sighhhh~ Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh. Sighin had been somethin i do constantly, almost every 5 mins now. Why sigh, u ask me?

My grandma.
I just realize how long her battle against leukemia was. It had been more than 2yrs now. Tht means she had gone thru approximately one n a half cycle of her chemotheraphy. Each cycle consists of 6 treatments, in da form of injections. Tht must b really tough.

Da saddest thing is, after havin spendin so much time in da hospital, da doctors now announce her illness critical, incurable. All they can do now is to give her medications to try let her live a li'l longer. After knowin this, she remained strong n cheerful. She's a vr kind woman who only wants da best for all of us.

I understand all lives will come to an end. Its just tht, lookin at her, i always become speechless. I wonder how it feels like to know tht yre leavin da world, leavin all yr loved ones. Its so amazin she didnt let all tht influence her emotions at all. I love her so much, altho i havent been vr close to her bfore she became sick. (I see her only once a yr durin CNY, bcoz she lived with my uncle in Johor)

Some relatives told me she used to be vr pretty. They said i have her eyes and her smile. Till today, i can see da twinkle in her eyes as she speaks. And from her cheekbones i could almost see how she used to look like. I really admire her. Her strength and her kindness, her cheerful and bubbly smiles. I just hope to see more of her now.

My life.
Its a really complicated one. Those tht shldnt falls in love with me, while some hates me. I really dont want to mention abt this anymore.

My accidents.
So many things happened to me lately, especially this yr. Im tellin everyone tht somethings wrong with da fengshui. Haha. Anyway, im so so convinced da scar on my face (from da car crash) is here to stay.

Besides tht, i just dislocated da 4th finger on my left hand da day bfore yesterday while tryin to save a poor kitten. Tht means no piano performance next next Saturday, and no volleyball for a considerably long long time. And i kinda miss da kitty now, its mom came to claim it tht very night. Bye bye kitty~ *Sobs*

And earlier this yr, i hurt my right knee at home. Da floor was newly mopped n i just slipped n fell. Doesnt sound vr bad huh? Lemme tell ya this.. This is da vr same knee tht i hurt while swimmin (in Std 4) n another time while playin volleyball (in Form 3). So its kinda disabled now.

Doesnt tht make me sound like a disabled now? Hmmph~

My pocket.
Okay, i shld have expected this since i registered into da architecture course beginnin of this yr. But its really burnin a HUGE hole in my pocket now, and my parents. Each treatment (injection) for my gma already costs 6k, so i feel my fees n materials n books would b a burden to my family. Of course, they nv said anythin abt it and totally support me in pursuin my dreams, but i still feel bad.

Da shelter im buildin for my Design Studio 1 will cost more than 100 bucks, and my books for this semester has already exceeded 1k!!! I havent shopped for ages, n i will probably not shop until i become an AR.Livee. Arghhhhhhhhhh~

My tummy.
I dunno why but my tummy isnt feelin vr comfy today. Probably coz i ate alot alot alot today. Dont believe me? Here, lemme show u.

10.30am: My late breakfast: Chee Cheong Fun. Kopi-O.
11.45am: My early early lunch: Toast with butter+sugar. Strawberries. Sunkist orange juice.
2.30pm: My lunch: Red tomyam soup with mee hoon, from Just Thai 1U. Mineral water.
4.30pm: Chocolate mint pretzels, from Auntie Anne's 1U.
5.30pm: Twisties BBQ. HL Milk.
7.00pm: My dinner: Pan mee soup, home-made.
10.00pm: My supper: Maryland Chicken. Mocha Ice-blended. Ice lemon tea. All from Corner Bakery, Klang.

I cant believe i ate all these in a day. I didnt realize or keep track of wht i put into my mouth. I shld start plannin. Or else bcome fat mui. Btw i am currently VERY physically (n emotionally? haha) attached to my toilet bowl. Serve me right. Tht shld teach me a lesson.

-end-

I wanna do my work, finish it, n get over with it a.s.a.p.!! I came online and immediately switched my MSN status to 'Away'. It was only then i realized i had eighteen friends online - 10 'Away', and 6 'Busy'. D other two are my friends from The One Academy who are currently on theyre semester break. (And even so, thyre actually surfin da net to search for some info for their research paper tht're due in a mth.)

OWL: An acronym for Overwhelmin Work Load. Guess tht's da case for almost everyone i know. Am currently havin a mild migraine, but thrs lotsa things tht has to be done. Really envy my siblings who are currently on holiday. But i know.. I will survive!

Considerin my work load rite now, i know i shldnt b bloggin. But just wanna say:
Peeps, good luck! And remember to take care of yr precious health. Love ya all!

-end-

"The one who knows is different from the one who knows not because of wht he knows. And wht does he know? He knows tht between the one who knows and the one who knows not, thr is no difference!" -- Abhinyana.

I read this quote from my current book: Let Me See by Abhinyana. Im really inspired. Da quote reminds me some things tht have been constantly happenin in my circle of friends lately. My close friends will definitely know wht, or who im referrin to. And from here, i start to think.. Wht really causes ppl to act da way they do? I belif thrs a reason behind everythin.

While we r in da process of discoverin who we really are (as opposed to who we THINK we are) we perceive differences btw ourselves and others, and noone can deny tht differences do exist. Differences i mean, in da form of race, nationality, culture, language, and so on. Too often, however, we pay too much attention to these differences.

But i think, besides all those factors, we shld b no different at all. Its just tht, we use terms like 'I', 'you', 'he', 'she', 'they', 'us'.. for da sake of communication everyday - so often tht we start convince ourselves tht thr really is a difference btw all of us.

If u ask me, i think thrs no such thing as a 'defined' difference btw ppl, or even things. How come? Lemme tell ya.. Well, take a book, for instance: Wht is a book? Was it always a book? Will it always b so? It is actually a composition of parts, which are also composition of other parts. Not long ago, it was not a book, and bfore long, it will bcome somethin else. It has an identity as a book only in context, which then changes; and ultimately, thr is no book!

I know this sounds confusin, or rather silly.. Its confusin me as well. But wht im tryin to say here is tht, after all these confusion, u still cant get a definitive answer. And in d end, does it make a difference? Why do u hafta hold on to yr beliefs tht thr is a difference btw u and yr frens, (and make such a big deal outta little useless details), then make others feel bad/stupid/sad/intimidated.... jus bcoz u belif thrs a need to b better than da rest of da world?

We dont see this clearly, and so we cling onto our ideas of differences. I differentiate ppl at times, which makes me no angel either. I guess thts Life, and this is probably one of da flaws God created in men. But wht is more important is tht u reflect on yr daily doings, learn from yr mistakes n bcome a better person.

This is somethin common (regardless of race, religion, etc etc) tht makes little difference between us.

-end-