Hmm.. Havent been updatin! Sorry, pretty busy lately. And it seems tht Tom's missin me huh! haha..

Okay, back from my trip - sunburnt! Itches n hurts alot now, n im not fair fair ady! SOb Sob! But a thing is tht i really enjoyed it, miss da sunshine and da beaches already now.. Hmmph, how i wish i could stay longer!

Da 8hrs bus ride was ridiculous. So restless and borin, n so cold inside da bus! i was practically freezin! And i couldnt sleep coz i drank too much water, i needed to go to da loo so much. Dont dare to tell da driver coz he's like so so fierce haha.. So i tahan tahan tahan! Then i got seasick on our boat ride to da island! *I still cant believe it* I mean, like, ME? SEASICK? Arghhh~ My 1st time.. i always tot im some sea goddess.. muahaha!

Okay, snorkellin on da 1st day was fine.. But da sea water hurts da wounds on my face, so i decided to skip da next 2 snorkellin trips. Liseong insisted to stay back with me, so he missed tht two sessions as well. They said da 2nd and 3rd one's way cooler than da 1st, so i feel kinda guilty i had Liseong stayin back with me.. Haih! But sunbathin while waitin for da rest to return was pretty relaxin, but im so sure THT added 30% to my darkness now.. Haha!

Then thr's da Killer game! HAaha.. So cool! We were addicted to it.. Play till wee hrs in da mornin! And OTHER games, i shall not mention.. TeckBeng'll kill me!! Haha.. Besides tht, i stepped in a so-called disco for my vr first time. But i couldnt really stand da cigarettes smell.. Yucks!

It was an enjoyable trip overall. Great to know TeckBeng better, n got to know HooiChing n EiLeen as well.. Hmm.. And da guys, Liseong's friends, theyre really funny! haha.. I cant wait to go back thr again!!!

Hmm.. Gotta go now! Wanna continue my game.. Went for yoga class this morn n was out da whole day with mom n dad! So tirin.. Im all washed out ady! Haha.. Tmr goin Pyramid n KLCC samore.. And i told my bro wanna play basketball samore! Better go relax abit 1st.. Gamin time.. RO Here i come~~

What is this thing?
This thing that we all search for . . .
This thing that flies you to the
highest heavens, Only to send you
racing back to Earth
like a fallen angel.

This thing that cuts your soul like
the mighty Sword of Camelot,
Then nurses you back to health with
its healing touch.

This thing that creeps in the dark
and still of the night and steals
your heart and soul like a thief,
Only to return it to you battered
and torn.

Where is this thing we cannot see,
but know it's there?
Where did it come from and where
does it hide when it leaves?
Why do we hunger for something so
very elusive ad mysterious?

Where is it?
What is it?
What do we do with it, once found?
What do we do with ourselves once lost?

-end-

Many things came up this holiday. Unexpected things. Theyre not exactly my problems, but they affect me somehow. In a way. Coz theyd harm da ppl i care alot. And i think i've gained some things thru these disputes. I noticed how ppl tend to coerce when things come up, instead of negotiate. Sometimes ppl just dont understand da importance of negotiation at times liddat. And sometimes they really annoy da hell outta me.

If u think u can always win with coercion, yre so so wrong. Ya, mayb u could win da battle. But wht abt da war? Yre actually tryin to force d other person to change their minds to suit yrs. Even if granted: thr are conflictin interests, an agreement will require ppl to change their minds. Still, thr remains a crucial distinction btw tryin to bring abt a decision by coercion, and by honest persuasion. Coercion operates against da will of da mind, while persuasion convinces da mind.

Da line btw da two isnt sharp or clear. Yet coercion, however light or strong, tends to damage both da outcome as well as da ongoin relationship btw both parties. I found it funny, or rather, ridiculous when i saw two adults (ADULTS!And sadly,theyre my friends..) tryin to use coercive tactics in their so-called 'negotiation'. It was so obvious tht their oh-so-great 'negotiation' was goin nowhr. But they wouldnt listen to anyone else, bcoz theyd been 'negotiatin' like tht for their entire lives.

Things i noticed:
1. Ppl prefer to attack people on d other side rather than attackin da problem. Somethin i find childish. Criticism at da person with whom yre arguin with DOES NOT solve anythin. Its easy indeed to attack someone's actions, judgements, honesty, or character in general. Many may even do so without fully realizin it. But attackin da person doesnt help, it only damages d relationship.
2. If arguments do occur as result of a disagreement, ppl tend to treat it like a contest, when in reality - wht really matters is solvin da prob. Bein in a disagreement doesnt mean yre engaged in a professional football team - in which one team will win, n d other will lose.
3. Theyre always commited to a certain thinkin tht d other person must change. As a result, da conversation usually gets nowhr, unless d other person is a 'follower'. And wht happens? Da argument gets worse.
4. Some ppl even disagree jus for da sake of breakin d other's will! I really dont get it. Some ppl just disagree for da sake of disagreein! I dont know how this concept got into some minds...

Im sure noone likes to b coerced. In fact, im pretty convinced tht it can damage a relationship for a long time. I still remember, my mom used to force me to go for Chinese classes. "Or else...!" Im so so so sure tht was a form of coercion, n i certainly didnt like it. And i didnt get over it for a considerably long period of time. I'd throw tempers whenever it was time to go for another class. Itd take half n hr each time for my mom to drag my into her car n throw me at my teacher's place. Well, at this pt, i'd say tht coercion worked. I did attend my Chinese classes, n kinda 'graduated' from it. But, its a painful process. And it really wrecked my r'ship with my mom for a vr long time.

I still remember a fable once told to me:
"A dispute once arose btw da wind n da sun over which was da stronger of da two. To settle da argument, they challenged each other to a contest: whichever could make a passin traveler take off his coat would b considered stronger. Da sun was confident, so da wind had da 1st chance.
Da sun hid behind a cloud, n da wind blew an icy blast. But da harder da wind blew, da more closely did da traveler wrap his coat arnd him. At last da wind gave up. Then da sun came from behind da cloud n began to shine down upon da traveller. Da traveler felt da sun's genial warmth, n as he grew warmer n warmer he took off his coat n sat down to rest in da shade."

Im sure everyone has heard of this story. Whether to b da wind, or da sun? Its up to u..

So, wanna make someone fall in love with u?

Here's a love spell from authentic Kemetic (ancient Egyptian):
Put a rose under da pillow of yr intended while he/she is asleep.
Just one thing: This is kind of a Mission Impossible. This spell can only b cast on a person who'd give u free access to their sleeping quarters while theyre asleep. Tht implies an already existing bond, a level of personal trust. It implies consent.

Hmm, so wht abt this? Da "pretty-much-heard-of" Love Potion No. 9*. Here's wht u need:
9 oz. sweet red wine
9 basil leaves
9 red rose petals
9 cloves
9 apple seeds
9 drops vanilla extract
9 drops strawberry juice
9 drops raspberry juice
1 ginseng root, cut into 9 equal pieces
By the light of nine pink votive candles, put these nine ingredients into a cauldron (or a blessed pot) on the ninth hour of the ninth day of the ninth month of the year. Stir the potion nine times with a wooden spoon, each time reciting the following magickal incantaion:
"LET THE ONE WHO DRINKS THIS WINE
SHOWER ME WITH LOVE DIVINE
SWEET POTION NUMBER NINE
MAKE HIS/HER LOVE FOREVER MINE."
Bring da mxture to a boil and then reduce da heat n let it simmer for nine minutes. Remove da cauldron from da heat n allow da potion to cool off. Blow nine times upon da potion, bless it in da names of nine love-goddesses, and then strain it thru a cheesecloth into a clean container. Cover n refrigerate it until yre ready to serve it to da man/woman from whom you desire love an affection. (Do not allow anyone other than your beloved to look at, touch, or drink da love potion!)

I cant help but laughed when i saw this in The Secrets of Love Magick. I mean, i cant say tht it isnt true. Some ppl dont belif in magick. Some do. N they say, for those who do believe, magick has a real effect on the physical and spiritual realm. Hmm.. Lets have a look at another one..

Here's a money spell i found in da same book:
(Said while making 9 knots in a green, 13-inch silk cord)
By knot of one, my spell's begun
By knot of two, plenty fruitful work to do
By knot of three, money comes to me
By knot of four, opportunity knocks at my door
By knot of five, my business thrives
By knot of six, this spell is fixed
By knot of seven, success is given
By knot of eight, increase is great
By knot of nine, these things are mine

So simple? No risks whtsoever. No harm tryin rite? But why are thr still beggars everywhr? Why arent everyone millionaires? Funny rite? I dunno la.. Its up to u wht to belif.. And if u chose to try these out, lemme know da results yah? Good Luck! ;P

-end-

I was cleanin up one of my long-forgotten boxes n found this poem lyin in thr. I think i composed this when i was in Std 4. Silly, i know, but i somehow like it vr much! Haha..

I look inside my lunch box,
and, oh, what do I see?
A peanut butter sandwich
staring glumly back at me.

I know I had one yesterday,
and, yes, the day before.
In fact, that's all I've eaten
for at least a month or more.

I'm sure tomorrow afternoon
the outlook's just as bleak.
I'll bet I'm having peanut butter
every day this week.

I'm getting sick of peanut butter
sandwiches for lunch.
Why can't I have chocolate
or potato chips to munch?

But still this awful sandwich
is in every lunch I take.
You see, it is the only thing
that I know how to make.

-end-

How to make a livee

Ingredients: 1 part intelligence 3 parts crazyiness 5 parts beauty

Method: Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little sadness if desired!

Hmm.. Just somethin out of boredom.. Add a little sadness? Haha.. *I like it tho..intelligent, crazy, beautiful!* Winks

I think i owe myself an apology. For allowin myself to b mistreated. Nadia is right, im allowin ppl to step on my head. Who i think i am huh? Im not God, i cant make everyone happy. Wht matters most is tht i live my life da way i want it to b. I shldnt let anyone ruin my life or affect my emotions liddat. Its abt time i stand firm n make myself happy instead.

I really owe lotsa ppl on this. Thks'es' to Nads n Melv n Hongleong for listenin to all my probs n givin me lotsa advices. Sorry to Liseong for lettin all these affect my emotions n for cryin so easily. Most importantly, i need to say sorry to myself. I shld stop being too kind, n b mean enough to stand up for myself.

Now tht i have decided to take this step, thrs just this one thing - I really need some sleep.

-end-